When Almost Counts...

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IV: Sometimes, working for the cruise line meant overlooking a few things, and still other times, Kip just couldn't help but wonder, "Is that a man or a woman?"

BEG: Coconut bras are a priviledge, not a right, and on this one, they are all wrong.

IV: Joel loved woodshop and guns. Fortunately for everyone at St. Catherine's middle school, there was still wood shop!

BEG: Joel's love of bookends was strange for a boy of his age. But he loved them, and would one day grow up to open Book-Ends-n-Things, wiping Linens-n-Things off the map.

IV: With years of Scout training under their belts the boys, now men, set out to fight their adversaries and take their land the old fashioned way.

BEG: The boyscouts had always been told they were the last line of defense in the US. Their day had come, when the news that the Mounties had crossed the US border with visions of taking Vermont, Troop 319 took to the streets, with a taste for blood, and campfire toasted marshmallows.

IV: Once a year, the Johnson family assembled like this on the front steps, each of them with their own theories, but none of them never really knowing what the hell they were doing it all for.

BEG: Grandma Johnson loved sneaking into photos to put bunny ears on Grandpa. What she didn't realize, among this motley crew of family members, was the the man on the far right of the picture was hired by grandpa to kill grandma should she attempt to humiliate him once again.

IV: "Where's the f-ing lift? You said this ski resort was the best!"

BEG: "Global warming? My Ass!"

IV: This is a perfect example of why Fraternities are a bad idea...especially when you're really only there for amusement purposes and to raise the house's GPA.

BEG: Dude with microphone: "It appears Mark is eating mystery substance #1. Any thoughts on what it might be Mark?" Mark: "And so's your face"

IV: When Ben said he was setting out to find his birth parents, everyone just assumed he'd spend a lot of time looking through old paperwork. Little did anyone know, Ben was leaving no stone unturned since his tracking class.

BEG: Ben realized that he was on the wrong path just by the foot prints. He took a photo and packed up for home. Nope, he would not find the Yeti this time, but next time who knew?

IV: Riddled with caffeine, the party had taken a turn. It was not a good one, but it kept things quiet and so far no one had jumped out the window!

BEG: This is what happens when the engineers and physics students have a party. First the engineering students build a tower of soda cans, then the physics majors try to figure out a way to get a rift in the space-time continuum, to send the soda can tower into the future and reconfigure it's shape. (please note, there are no beer cans which means this was done by sober people!)

IV: It was hard enough to convince the children not to do drugs. It was even harder when Cliff kept packing his crack-pipe up with the show supplies and leaving it on the table like it was no big deal.

BEG: Why motivational speakers rarely have props.

IV: Little Elizabeth was just not understanding the true game of hide-n-seek!

BEG: Lizzie wanted to be a turtle when she grew up. Her mother only hoped she didn't live up to her Lizzie namesake and hack the family to bits.