Dumb Is As Dumb Does - Pt. 1

Steph's rent is almost up, go ahead and stop by her site before it's too late!

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IV: Bry-Guy and Phil always hated getting caught. It was becoming harder and harder to make up believable excuses to hide the love that dare not speak its true name and still look good on film.

BEG: Bry and Phil couldn't understand why their application video and photos for The Amazing Race were turned down. So they had a thing for rainbows and Greco-Roman style wrestling, it wasn't like they were gay or anything.

IV: Riding behind Bear never bothered JoAnn. What she did find disturbing though was the fact that he could never seem to find a shirt when he got the urge to go for a bike ride! Luckily, the helmet kept their true identities a secret.

BEG: Bear thought women couldn't resist his handsome good looks, and rugged (if not paunchy) body. What he didn't realize was they only really dug his bike, and after realizing it wasn't a Harley, so often they would leave him.

BEG Note: Please note there is a small child squished between them. Yes, look closely. Thanks to Wendi for spotting this, I am now considering changing my commentary.

IV: It was getting hard for Mel's co-workers to overlook her turning into the bunny character in the book she so loved, but next week, if she has a fluffy ball tail, they've decided to send in a team of hunters to stop the madness!

BEG: Mrs. Trimple, the grade school librarian, was always looking for new ways to bring reading into the lives of young people. Her 'Read or Mutate into Forest Creatures' campaign didn't go over well, neither did her football themed culottes.

IV: Sam's friends had hoped the chinese hat would dissuay him from doing his routine chicken dancing, but they could already see his arms were sliding into position...they also didn't think they'd be able to take the hat away when their plan failed.

BEG: Sam was preparing for his Mortal Combat Role Playing group by getting into the role. Sadly their group would only meet once, as those who didn't die were arrested for murder.

IV: "Is that Celine? Is she...is she...copulating...with a ...with a mule?"

BEG: Sara loved a good witch trial. In her head she was screaming "I shall not suffer a witch to live! Hang her! Quarter her!" In reality she knew that Delores Rider wasn't going to get burned at the stake, or drawn and quartered, this was the Ren-Faire after all, but Sara could dream...

IV: The office supply honor system had failed once again. The post-its were gone and punishement was being taken to a whole new level.

BEG: When they signed up for the human research subject gig it sounded pretty good: 24 hour monitoring, communal living, observation. What they didn't realize was that they had entered a contract with the Dharma Initiative and would soon be shipped off to an island in the middle of nowhere. 4 8 15 16 23 42 anyone?

IV: Billy didn't take the news well that he had been taken out of the running for Theater Camp Queen. He couldn't handle that he'd have to spend another long summer singing show tunes and have nothing to show for it but a Princess title!

BEG: Billy didn't understand why everyone thought she was a boy, she felt like 100% woman! Sure she had no breasts, but how many 17 year olds looked like Tyra anyway? And at theater camp it was worse! They all thought she was acting like a girl! After that reassignment surgery though, she'd show them!

IV: "Am I blending yet? Can you see me?"

BEG: Wow, it's like a Garfield cartoon come to life, only without that fat assed cat or Odie.

IV: The building crew just couldn't wait for the ramp to be installed so they could get the machinery to the second level of the stadium. Fortunately for them, they had a machine just slighly larger to keep things moving along.

BEG: To the stranded members of the Sawyer Group Engineering firm, the idea of being stuck on the second floor in early construction with no way down was no way for a man to die. Luckily the construction workers had found a way to save them, or did they?

[IV: On a personal note, I can say that this sort of behavior goes on all the time when men get together with machinery. I have experienced this very thing in my own yard when a group of neighborhood men decided to play with a forklift left in my yard by the concrete men who were taking out my old driveway and putting in the new one. The neighborhood crew, my man included, decided it would be a great idea to put a 40 ft. ladder in the bucket and try to get up on top of my very, very tall house to install the weather vane...

Essentially, two men went up, one at a time, and came down knees shaking and scared to death of heights. Also, a portion of the weather vane was dropped from the highest point of my roof and broke into a million pieces. Men, please stop behaving like this. It doesn't make chicks want you when you try to be like Superman. It doesn't impress us and something usually gets broken...and there's always the chance that it could be your head...and no woman wants to scrape up man-brain from the pavement!]