Google Hunting with Dick

Firstly: We would like to welcome our new renter. This is a slum, we are slumlords and somehow people still want to rent from us. Is it the cheap cheap rent? Much like any slum, probably. Anywhoo, 'From the Morning' is our new renter. Normally we aren't fans of church going folk, but while this guy is a church goer he is also a government lunch thief, which is a really hilarious post. A lot of his posts are. We'll even forgive the church stuff for the regalement of the Root Canal. He's funny and smart, so anyone reading this should go click and make his 10-15 credits worth every, err credit. If you are reading this, and don't go and check him out, we will send Cheney the Hut after you with a shotgun and without a Quail Permit.

Now Onward With The Mockery...

It's too good to pass up! Dick Cheney shoots a man while quail hunting!! Too Priceless! How is every blogger on earth not just rolling around in the bird shot and blood? Well, we are. Of course we are...it's just like that time when G-Dub got in that poo-hurling contest with a local zoo monkey...no, wait, that didn't happen...yet. Nevermind about that.

So, in honor of Vice President Dick Cheney shooting a man (In the face), this edition of fun with Google is dedicated to Dick Cheney. All Google image results were attained by entering 'Cheney' in the search box. If a photo has a credit on it, congrats to whoever put it on the interweb, your photo is credited all on it's own, and you are not an idiot. The others? not so much. We don't pay attention to where they come from, we just make fun of them...

From the Sci-Fi and Movie Files:

This photo was labeled: Cheney-Edwards Debate Moment

BEG: I am trying to figure out which one is Cheney and which one is Edwards. I'm hoping Han Solo is Edwards, cos I think that Alien looks kinda like a Dick, I mean like Dick.

IV: Is this the E Channel re-enactment of the Cheney-Edwards debate? I saw their Jackson Trial mock-up and this seems about their speed. Although, when I imagine Cheney-Edwards debate moments played with action figures, I see Cheney more as a Strawberry Shortcake doll, possibly one of those all rubbery ones that doesn't really move a lot.

BEG: I always knew something was up with Bush and Cheney, and now I get it. Bush is Cheney's Sigorney Weaver, only Bush, not nearly as hot in a bitch beater and panties. Although I have heard that a bitch beater and panties are his preferred 'head of state' attire.

IV: Wouldn't this just leave us with a Bush-Free U.S. and Vice President Alien Cheney? This would be a really funny scenario if we could get Newt back and maybe Condi could wear the bitch-beater and panties.

BEG: "George I am not your father" BTW: I love the glasses with this look, gives it a comforting 'come cuddle grandpa' feel.

IV: Are they gonna appoint James Earl Jones to be the voice of Vice President Cheney now? It would be enlightening to see how it rocked their world a bit. I mean what would happen if they pulled the Darth Republican mask off to reveal...no wait, I'll just stop right there and go with Kanye West.

BEG: Whoa! Where's my Condi-Democratic-Party-Equivalent in Leia slave-girl gear, or Howard Dean trapped in carbonite ala Han Solo (or should it be Edwards?). If you are going to go for the Star Wars analogy, go all out, or go back to Dagobah.

IV: At least Cheney is in the right place in this cartoon. Although, I don't remember Jaba being as crusty as Cheney and he probably smelled more like trash than death! Also, I too am a little bit upset there is no Condi slave-girl.

BEG: I never noticed Cheney had an underbite like a bulldog's! He's an angry green puppy!!

IV: Incredible Cheney Hulk? Either way, it's clear from his expression that it really isn't easy being green!

BEG: It's shocking in just how many photos the president looks like he's thinking 'mmm boobies' and Cheney looks like 'Mmm World Domination, must eat more oil!'

IV: I have no comment on this picture. It already says so much. Also, I don't really want to think about Cheney 'shagging' anything.

In the Rest of the Files:

BEG: There are no Happy Birthdays at the White House. There is only pain, misery, and rampant patriotism. If you don't eat this cake the Terrorist's Win!!!!

IV: It isn't really cake. It's just cardboard covered with frosting that cost $2,212,063.00. There was no room in the budget for actual cake this year.

BEG: I'm not sure if I want to make an Elvis or Johnny Cash joke here. Let's just say that Cheney has left the building!

IV: Cheney: Vice President. Man. Lounge Singer. Shooby-dooby-doo-wop! Check out the 'Dick Cheney Trio' and please remember that the 9:30 pm show is different than the 7:30 pm show folks!

BEG: "Dammit, I was all set for my big rendition of singin' in the rain, but there's no rain. It's time we got NASA involved in looking for the terrorist-built-weather-machine, I know that Bin Laden is behind ruining my big dance number!!!"

IV: "Someday it will rain oil!"

BEG: This isn't actually Vice President Cheney, this is a gigantic cardboard cut-out of Cheney. The real Cheney was in the basement of the White House once again getting a rebuilt heart. We can rebuild him! We can make him stronger!

IV: "But I don't wanna go to summer camp!" or alternately, "None of you can get me!"

BEG: Somehow, not nearly as scary as Benedict. Then again Cheney was never an actual Nazi-Youth like Benedict was, instead Dick just like's to play Nazi when's he's not trying to convince Lynne that 'Shiver Me Timbers' is a game she would enjoy playing with her male friends.

IV: Notice how he seems to still have the same look of wanting world domination...

BEG: "What? My lack of shirt makes me look fat?? What if I hold a beer can? Then does it look better?" WTF is up with the quilt in the background? I mean, hello creepy.

IV: "What do you mean we're out of beer? Someone get me Air Force 2!"

BEG: Look! A cold day in Hell!!!! Satan DOES wear a parka!! Alternately I wanted to make a bad South Park joke here.

IV: Is that even Cheney? Either way, I'm with BEG. And shouldn't that parka be on fire...to warm the others, I mean.

BEG: Sometimes smiling was painful for Dick, and sometimes it was just painful for all of us...

IV: Look what I learned! I can smile and lie at the same time! Thank you Botox!

BEG: Sometime's being Bionic-Cheney (TM) was tough. The bionic hand would miss his bionic nose, when all he really wanted to do was itch his bionic nostrils. The bionic neck fat roll was the most difficult thing to create, but because he refused to say he was hangin' with Kirstie Ally and the Jenny Craig, the designers had to go back to the drawing board 28 times. His bionic neck fat roll cost the US $1.8 billion and the lives of 9 scientists (some were killed in explosions of faux fat and others were just killed because of the bionic knowledge they had).

IV: "I am sober. Look I can touch my nose. Give me the gun." It was either that or Cheney is trying to signal the pitcher.

BEG: "Hey there little one, don't grow up to be a raging, hell-bound, dyke like my little girl, okay? You don't want to go to hell right?"

IV: "What is this thing? It's touching me! Get it off! Get it off!"

BEG: All I got on this one is a big WTF????

IV: Is Cheney gonna record a really bad pop album too?

BEG: Look it's the Cheney-Pumpkin! Guaranteed to get smashed all year round by angry Democrat Neighbors and Children alike!!!

IV: Cleary, whoever did this has far too much time on their hands...and a very unnatural love of our VP. There are just some things that should not be carved into a pumpkin. Cheney's face, the cast of 'Punky Brewster', Charles Manson, etc.

In the how did this come up using the word Cheney category:

Sold as: Cheney the Tubby Quarry Critter, No I didn't make that up

BEG: Why has this poor stone kitty been damned for all eternity with a name like Cheney??? If you look closely though, it's face is definately thinking, "Mmm World Domination, Must Eat More Oil!!!!!"

IV: I think this is what they used to fill in the hole in Dick's chest cavity where his heart used to be. Of course, we all know, his actual heart had to be removed, cut into four separate pieces and taken to different, secret locations to keep it from reassembling.

BEG: Look it's Cherry Cheney, the woman who sold the family's soul to the devil for a great set of legs and a pack of Bel-Aires! Creepy: She kinda looks like Gwen Stefani in the face...

IV: A little known fact about Dick...he didn't used to have one.

Now it's time for us to ride off into the sunset with Cheney:

Note From IV: I hope you all enjoy this post. It was a terrible pain in the arse to put together. BEG tried, but the internet was more likely to bite her than cooperate. I've now spent all morning re-adjusting and yelling at the dogs when they unplug my PC just when I think I'm done and then had to start over again three different times because of them!