It's Inner City Critter Fun!!

Warning: Semi-Offensive Post Ahead, this is only meant in fun.

Not an actual Gheti.

Gheti (Yeti Ghetticus): American a 'Ghetto Yeti.' Mostly seen wandering the inner city streets after a dramatic snowfall. The Gheti is easily recognizable from it's more rural equivalent in several ways:

Coat: While the standard rural Yeti (Yeti Bumblefuckus) is noted for it's magnificent white fuzzy coat, the Gheti's coat often looks bedraggled, somewhat matted, and has the odd yellow brownish tinge of road salt. The Gheti can also be clearly noted by the presents of tufts of hair on either side of it's head, known within it's hunting range as 'Afro Puffs.'
Teeth: The Yeti has sharp icicle teeth (as seen in the image above), the Gheti often will have one or more of these teeth plated with gold, platinum and sometimes set with diamonds.
Camouflage: The Yeti easily hides among the hills and trees with only it's fur for protection from the elements. The Gheti is often seen wearing an Orlando Magic Jersey and often is bedecked in 'Bling.' This Bling can range from a simple fat gold chain with a diamond encrusted G, to a large time piece worn around the neck (this Gheti can also sometime utter the phrase 'Flavor-Flav!').
**The females are often seen wearing wearing similar jerseys, but are detectable by their long flourescent colored nails.

The Gheti is not as dangerous as the Yeti, as it seems to have had a harder life living on the mean streets. This has caused it to spend most of it's time foraging for grilled meats and corn whiskey. The Gheti also has found ways to adapt to different inner-city areas as well, there are several subtypes that have been noted. Recently it has been noted that the Gheti seems to be moving into suburban rates. The suburbs need not be alarmed, these Gheti are very well behaved and mean no harm, they are just looking for a safe place to raise their young, in hopes that some day they can be Yeti.

Sub-types:
The most far removed subtype seems to be Yeti Ghetticus Trailerstisis, this creature has been found wandering trailer parks in rural and urban areas. It may be a cross breed with the Yeti, but DNA testing needs to be done. It is most easily noted by the lack of jersey, and puffs in favor of a 'Mrs. Federline' baby-tee and the puffs are replaced by what was described by one witness as a 'frosted permed fantasy.' The male of this subtype lacks hair on the top of it's head, and often is seen wearing a stained white tank top, it has been noted that often the males reek of fermented hops.

Yeti Ghetticus Siestisis is more native to city environments. The males have greasy slicked back hair on their head and often have small moustache appearing hairy growths above their mouth. They too are often seen wearing white tank tops (although not stained), also they can be noted by their gold chains (generally bling free). The females often have curly hair, and are known for their colorful clothing choices (as well as personalities). Often the female can be seen degrading the male around other Gheti, while the male constantly puts on shows of dominance and agression.

Yeti Ghetticus Ramenisis is most often noted in the parts of a city or town known as 'little China.' Whether or not this species orginated in China is not yet known. This species has the least known about it, and is only known through the bony record. Apparently these are often caught and their bones and fur sold in herbal markets as sexual enhancers. As soon as one can be caught we will get you more information.

This has been your Inner City Critter Report.