Squish! Squish! Squish!

We have an all new renter, Stephanie at "Mystical Incense and More" (NOT Mystical Incest!) and she would love it if you stopped by to visit. Actually as soon as you are done reading this we demand you click on her, if you don't we may never update again. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Any whoo, Stephanie's blog is gorgeous, and she also makes cool bath and candle products. A few weeks ago she had an awesome 'Choose Your Own Adventure' style contest but everything I found someone else had already found, which made me (BEG) very very sad. We look forward to her future endeavors. She also has a great rant about Bad Parents that could have been written by IV and me (no a serious post about bad parents, not mockery). Go check her out now, you won't regret it (plus she can make you stink better)

All new! By Popular demand! IV's and BEG's GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH!! All images were found by randomly typing 'Squish' into the Google Image Search box. Is there a word you'd like us to google? Honestly we are running out of strangely simple words to google. Throw us a bone and let us know your ideas in comments. We only search for single words, so don't submit a sentance. The more generic the word usually the better the results. If they don't suck, we might just use your suggestion! You will be amply rewarded by having your name mentioned, imagine the fame!

As per usual none of these photos are credited, we only have them here to mock, ridicule and otherwise mis-interpret them. We don't even read the pages they come from. We aren't profiting from this, except in hearty laughs, so don't sue us.

IV: Everyday, Susan returned home to see if she had gotten any thinner. The new starvation diet was really helping her self esteem, but she was just never thin enough to get past the truck and back inside.

BEG: Susan wanted Juan Miguel, the man who sold black-market Louis Vuitton hand bags out of his box truck. Every week she followed him to the sweat-shop where he picked up the new stock. And every week she just didn't know how to get to him, or how he got out of the truck in the first place, this hampered her ability not only to get her hands on the new stock first, but also to declare her love of Juan Miguel.

IV: The people in the trailer park had heard stories and had always feared the day when the magic bubbles would arrive to snatch up their trailers and wisk them away to a far off land.

BEG: Those were not tiny bubbles, and those were no longer Lincoln Logs, Sammy had in fact created a machine that made everything bigger. Sammy now set his eyes on the Shady Grove Trailer Park, it would be marvelous, his gigantic world, but how long would it last?!?

IV: When the puppy rebellion started, no one ever thought they'd grow this strong.

BEG: Tiny Ferdinand looked on, he did not know if this battle was his to win, or his to lose, but he knew if he didn't do something, and fast, his siblings would be crushed by the tiniest Ogre ever.

IV: "I love you gigantic feet!" When Joe's church group took him to the large shoe museum, they never thought they'd lose him to to the shoes. Shoes-1/God&Church-0

BEG: Daphne wasn't aware of Joe's shoe fetish, but after having watched him worship the gigantic shoe, now it was undeniable. Daphne would have to take the baby far far away from her freak husband, if she fled now he might not even notice...

IV: When someone had suggested that Jim create the first amazing rapids golf course, he jumped right into it, but the daily floods were really beginning to hinder his business!

BEG: Mardi Gras just would never be the same in post-Katrina New Orleans. There wasn't a drag queen to be seen, and Harry Connick Jr. even failed to show!

IV: "This place...this place is absolutely magnificent!"

BEG: It is a little known fact that rats love velour just a bit more than Jennifer Lopez's ass.

IV: "Kelly, I swear I saw it and it was only this big!"

BEG: "I'm Crushing Your Head!!!"

IV: This year, the parasites in the office had grown in numbers and instead of waiting for janitorial to take care of it, the women had taken things into their own hands!

BEG: Sharon had always wished for the opportunity to to lay down the long arm of the wife. After spending time with that genie, she had her chance.

IV: Just like a man...always has to do things the hard way!

BEG: Every year it got tougher and tougher to find virgins to sacrifice to the gods of cobblestone. And while the temple was smaller now, and the drop shorter, it was still difficult for Tom to let go of his little girl.

IV: For some time now the battle between Kenny and Marv had continued on...but today would be Kenny's day to shine...and few would notice if Marv never came back from the woods.

BEG: Kenny had seen it fail for Wil E. Coyote, but he firmly believe he was smarter than a stupid cartoon, and he would succeed. Kenny was later declared a Darwin Awards winner and a Dumb Ass.